I’ve always found it a rewarding challenge to work as a demand gen marketer who is marketing to other marketers. We are our own worst critics. Think of who rolls their eyes at ugly stock imagery. Who is the first to point out the typo? Usually a marketer. So I find it especially yucky when I get an email such as the one I am going to share that is full of so much gobbledygook-zilla that by the time I reached the end, I had no clue what was being said, shared or asked of me.
I hope all is well.
My name is XYZ (name has been removed to protect the innocent). I noticed you are in charge of lead and demand generation at XXX and I am looking to discuss ideas on how our companies could work together in similar fashion we’re working with other organizations within your space.
To give you a brief overview, XYZ is an advertising technology and services provider that offers a Centralized Media-Management Platform (CMMP).
• We empower hundreds of media buyers to plan, launch, analyze and optimize their marketing strategies across a regulated ecosystem.
• Unifying performance, digital and traditional media.
• Providing solutions that increase operational efficiency, ad performance and brand display.
• We are VC backed with over $20MM in funding from Comcast, Liberty Global and Foundry Group.
Looking at XXX’s website, I see that you have a library of whitepapers and webinars. We partner with hundreds of brands to power their content syndication and lead generation initiatives, but also leveraging our technology platform to create efficiencies together which streamline internal marketing processes like systems, reporting and analytics. Simultaneously, we can supplement these demand generation initiatives with branding and distribution strategies via our DSP and Live Trading Desk.
Please let me know if we can arrange a call this week or next with one of the senior members of my team to discuss how we can partner with you to help you achieve your marketing goals and drive your planned initiatives.
If you’re not the correct person, my apologies; would you be able to point me in the right direction?
Initial thoughts included the following:
- What the heck is a “Centralized Media-Management Platform”? Has anyone heard of this?
- Who cares if you are VC backed and funded? Are you going to help me reach my goals?
- Are you an agency? Software provider? What the heck is this?
- via our DSP and Live Trading Desk <- Huh???
How I would make it better
Consider what it is I would care about in my position. “Providing solutions that increase operational efficiency, ad performance and brand display” doesn’t tell me a whole lot and you are not even using language that I care about. If you re-worded this to say “provide solutions to increase lead volumes from online display ads”, I would likely pay attention. Use my language – take some time to see how I write about topics I care about. Im very active on Twitter – one look at my stream can pretty much sum up the things I am interested in and even the ways in which I describe things. Throwing some fancy schmancy techno language babble around does not help you sell to me. I have no appetite whatsoever to even consider being on a phone with someone that may talk the same way.
We know you know you stuff. You dont need to word-stuff the heck out of your intro email to prove it. Assume I know nothing and you will actually look a lot smarter.